We Interrupt This Diet For an Important Announcement. Cheat Day!

   Come on people. You know what I'm talking about.
    One of the perks of my Paleo diet is you get to cheat. Guilt free. It's called the 80/20 principle. Stick to the diet 80% of the time, and cheat 20% of the time, you're golden. I also believe in the 5,000/15,000 rule, which is that the body can only process about 5,000 calories/day, so if you're going to cheat and have 5.000 calories, you may as well have 15,000, because your body will just reject anything more than 5,000 without using it!
  Beauty,eh?
   Anyhow, I was going through our local paper a few nights ago, and it was "The Best of Toronto" issue. Under "Extreme Eats" it mentioned "Dangerous Dan's Diner" home of the 24oz. "Colossal Colon Clogger Combo" burger, which features a 24 oz. patty (A Bull's Ball Burger Patty....check the menu) topped with 2 fried eggs, 1/4 lb. of bacon, 1/4 lb. of cheese and any other burger toppings you would like. It comes with a side of Poutine and a large milkshake.
  
  Well don'tcha know, I remembered the 80/20 and the 5,000/15,000 principles at this exact moment. So, for lunch today, Portage, "The Girl" and I wound up here.

The Girls Decided to Humour Me

  Now, the best burger I've ever had in my life was "The Legendary 10 oz. Burger" at the Hard Rock Cafe in Las Vegas. Let's see if Dangerous Dan's can knock it off the top perch.
   First impression. I didn't have to tell the girls we weren't in Kansas anymore. I think they just wanted to go home, but maybe they felt it was something I had to do. So they hung in there, God bless 'em. To call this part of town "seedy" would be to compliment it. They would have to sink a lot of money into improvements to bring it up to "seedy". For instance.......

Jilly's Strip Club

Here's the view out the side window from our booth. Double D's gets very busy when the strip club lets out at the end of the night.
  Dangerous Dan's Diner obviously inspired the copycat Heart Attack Grill in Arizona. I will say, however, that the idea of having scantily clad nurses serving food at the H.A.G. was inspired.

Our Booth

Don't you love the way they made the seats look like they have been torn out of wrecked 1/2 ton trucks? Wait a minute, they have been torn out of wrecked 1/2 ton trucks. Check out the lean on the seat under the window.
  Let's have a look at the tables for two.

Not bad. I think those are from a mini-van or a very old Winnabago. Don't forget to do up your seatbelt.

But the spectacular ambiance is not why we're here! We are here for the burgers! Now, because I'm on a strict diet, I didn't order the "CCCC", I ordered the "Coronary Burger Special, a mere 16 oz. burger (2X8oz. patties) with 4 slices of bacon,2 slices of cheddar,and a fried egg. Plus, I told them to drag it through the garden. I noted mustard, pickles, tomato, lettuce, hot peppers and mayo. Anything else was lost in this mountain of burger goodness.

The Unique Decor

This was my actual burger.

Of course, it was part of a combo.

I substituted a Muskoka Cream Ale for the milkshake. Don't they realize milkshakes are bad for you?

So it was time to chow down. Portage and Hannah ordered "The De Niro" chicken burger with peppers,onions, balsalmic vinegar,mozzarella & tomato.Other interesting items on the menu are:
a)The Big Kahuna (pineapple, back bacon,mozza etc.)
b)The Big Kevorkian (fried onion,onion ring,bacon,mushroom,etc.)
c)The Elvis Burger (Bacon,peanut butter,fried bananas)
d)Tasty Wang (deep fried banana with 2 balls of ice cream, honey and whipped cream
e)Deep fried mars bar (with ice cream and whipped cream)

On Your Mark,Get Set........

I had to squish it, but it held together really well.

Go!The First Bite is the Deepest, Baby I Know.....

Well, the first thing I taste is meat, which is quite good.Very "Char-coal-y" tasting. They never asked how I wanted it cooked, I usually go for medium rare but these patties were definitely in the "very well done" range, which was a bit of a bummer. I couldn't even taste the bun, but then I see I missed it completely on the first bite.

The Street Cars Constantly Rumbling By Just Reminds You That You Are Downtown. This is the street from in Front of DD's.

The last bite. Did anyone get a time on that? 5 Minutes, max.I never did notice the bun, which is a good thing!

I was pretty hungry, we didn't eat this lunch until 2:00pm and I only had a couple of eggs for breakfast about 8:00 a.m.

Finished everything but the Beer

You didn't think I was going to leave any beer, did you? Anyhow, the waitress came out and said "You finished it!" I had to tell her I had a small breakfast. She was neither chesty, nor dressed as a nurse, nor scantily clad .Which was a good thing.
  The frites were disappointing. I think they were made from  McCain Frozen SuperFries, and even so, they weren't cooked long enough to be crispy.The gravy was a bit to watery for me as well.

That's Better. Nurse, I require more beer.

Meat is Murder. Tasty,Tasty Murder.

  Inside the restaurant, written on one of the walls, was "Vegetarian" is Caveman for "Bad Hunter". I love that.
  If you check Dangerous Dan's Menu, you will see little marijuana leaves beside some of the items. These are items recommended for "Medicinal Cannabis Users" who come in with "the munchies". I love that too!

  Here's a funny history of Dangerous Dan's I stole from This Guy's blog.He is obviously better at this than I am, but can he run 50K?

 "Dangerous Dan’s Diner is one of those places where Reality collides with Legend. Some folks say it’s been around since the 1960s but really it opened in 1999. Some say Dangerous Dan is the man behind the counter but in fact “Dangerous Dan” is the owner’s grandfather who got his nickname not because he was some rough and tumble miner stomping in from the Klondike (a la Robert Service’s 1907 poem “The Shooting of Dan McGrew”) but because he enjoyed wrestling with his grandson. Some of the myths, however, are true. The atmosphere of Dangerous Dan’s can be a little, shall we say, rough. Amid the ripped-out car seats which double as booths neighborhood characters mingle with drunks staggering in from Jilly’s, the strip club across the street. When the owner (James McKinnon) hired his first cook, he asked the cook if he could fight. As McKinnon puts it, “I can’t teach someone to fight, but I can always teach somebody how to cook.”

Check out his blog post (After the DD part) near the end for some truly monstrous burgers.

So Another Dining Adventure Comes to an End

 I had planned on writing a review of my "Dangerous Dan's Diner Experience" for the very popular "Serious Eats.Com website. I still might, but I'm feeling a tad rushed and I don't feel the entire Dan's Diner thing has sunk in yet. I would like to it justice. I would say, if you are used to classy restaurants, like my girls apparently are, then I wouldn't recommend it. If you are anal about cleanliness, I wouldn't recommend it (how old were those vinegar bottles?). If the word "atmosphere" means anything to you when choosing a restaurant, I definitely wouldn't recommend it.
  But if you like to smoke pot, go to strip joints, stuff your face, drink beer, get your money's worth and call a cab to go home because no one volunteered to be the Designated Driver and you forgot where you parked the car, this is the place you've been looking for!

P.S.-even if you don't smoke pot.

  Well, the girls and I agree, we have "Been There, Done That". It was good that we did, just to say we did. The place seems to do very well, the price was right and they have a great location. I'm sure they don't care, but my minor suggestions would be

a) Set up some real booths with real chairs.The girl's truck bench was so low to the ground the table was almost at her chin level.

b) Clean the place up a bit.(a lot, says the girls)

c)Prepare the burgers to taste, don't just cook them all well done!

d) Serve home made crispy fries! And even canned beef gravy would be better than what they are using now


 The Hard Rock Cafe can rest easy.
 

I hope to put all that protein to good use, because you know, a .............

Heads Up,Dora.You too, Leslie. Might take a while,though.